"it takes a lot of gut to follow your heart"

I have heard that before.

She was frail,recovering from a heart attack.She looked comfortable and her expressions were like a smiling face.She got married thrice,and always found a new love,she revealed herself.

She was on a roll that day as she continued,our heart speak a simple language from day one of our being in this world.That language never change but we grow up as we believe and start giving meanings to our heart's straight talk.

We never like straight answers especially if those come from our heart,she kept talking to me.That is the cause of all unhappiness and depression.

She gave me something to contemplate that day onwards.

To some matters of heart are beyond common sense and laws of probability.

Others dive in deep to have lines of communication with their own heart.They are the authors of ultimate love stories by following their heart. Those are the people who are guided through life's cake and chaos,like a marriage vow: in health and sickness be there as one.

"building a castle on soft sand"

I spoke with her family,she was not getting better.They were accepting the fact that their mom will die at some point in her hospital stay.

In the coming days she started to show some signs of stability but her prognosis remain poor.Her kidneys were failing with minimal output,lungs were venting on borrowed breaths.Though she appeared comfortable and lively.

The same family who once accepted the fact of life then start building a castle on soft sand.I saw a yawning of hope in the march of death.

This is life we all struggle to live,I heard from a colleague.

To some it is easy to see what is so obviously there and coming,that's the job of professionals.

Others who watch a slow death of a loved one live and die daily while waiting for the ultimate to flatten their castle on soft sand.

“many are called, but few are chosen”

I stopped reading the article until I read this "Many are called, but few are chosen.” I wondered,may be how it worked then and every day now.

He was admitted to hospital with a range of medical issues.Those conditions of encephalopathy,hypoxia and failure to thrive lead to final discussion with his family to decide as he would have wished in a situation like that.The decision was made for comfort measures only with withdrawal of medications not fit for the goal of passing away in peace with dignity:no pain,no suffering.

He got very comfortable,so much so that his survival day after day lead the most interesting question asked by his family,why he was not dying?

I answered them,he is a fighter.

Today as I was reading this "Many are called, but few are chosen",I got my answer.

"to step on magic carpet with anticipation"

Sometimes I struggle between what I want and what I get.I guess we all do struggle this way all our lives.

The other day there was a case of a young woman with a neuromuscular disease that had progressed to respiratory failure and dependence on ventilator.I wanted her to get better,come off ventilator,eat as she used to a few months ago.I was wishful and I had struggles.My conflict of mind and heart knocking on doors of my soul.I asked for be guided and I was lead to do my best.

Another case of an older man with end stage emphysema on high flow oxygen depriving him from eating,sleeping,talking.He was afraid of dying as if he ever fall asleep.He appeared to me like a warrior dying of his own fear of enemy.I wanted him to come out of his fear and breath life.I was wishful and I had struggles,conflict of mind and heart knocking on doors of my soul.I asked for be guided and I was lead to do my best.

We all do have our magic movements in our lives,you may see in the eyes of a lover or in the heart of a seeker.The mystery of universe revolves only if we keep asking and searching,the mystery resolve once we become part of it.

To some magic carpet and magic moments happen only in stories.
To others,magic happen on demand,they only have to do is to step on magic carpet with anticipation,"ask and you shall receive".

So I stood on my prayer rug then knelled and bowed my head asking for guidance in anticipation,"ask and you shall receive".