"already accepted that he had died"

She walked in with her portable oxygen tank,upset about not knowing that her husband,who was a patient, went on an appointment at a tertiary care hospital without her knowledge .I explained to her about her husband's serious condition and that the scheduled appointment was a follow up.

I did my part by explaining things in a way to comfort her.She did calmed down.Then she told me that "she had already accepted that he had died before his admission to this hospital".She continued and said,"now what ever is there is OK with her,at least he is alive".

In matter of days and weeks,the patient got better and better.
He was more alert,breathing better,talking with periods of agitation and confusion.Bottom line he was living again and not dead.

One day she asked me,"why her husband is not getting better".I looked at her and reminded her where we started in the beginning.

I wondered then,and I wonder now.How people develop expectations and lose complete perspective.This is an interesting observation which we face daily.

Yes,we can fix curable,but dying with aging and diseased organs is certainly an under reported and virtually unsaid reality.

The biggest challenge is how to convey this to all of us without getting into a confrontation.