He was suffering from a lung infection and a muscular disorder. She was suffering from a guilt, as she called and confessed, of not asking about the list of medications her husband was on while in the care of the treatment team.
She found out that a medication was held, which she thought was very important to treat his weakness. She reports that she was trying to reach out, conveying her concern as she was convinced that putting on that medication would give him a fighting chance to come off the ventilator.
As I listened to her, I found that she was right. She was reaching out to me as she was reaching out to others. She told me I was outside the box, and the team was in the box. She believed that I could hear her out as his treatment team was hearing only their own echoes without weighing in on her concerns.
She was right about the guilt of knowing and not being able to do anything about it without convincing others to do it for you. The blessing of knowing before it gets too late in outcomes, the limitations of convincing others to do it for you, and the suffering of guilt if something happens while others process her concerns. That was her concern, a blessing with a pang of guilt.
To some, medication reconciliation is a standard of care and is a one-time deal. The proactive family may inquire as needed. But to answer the family concerns, to establish easy access to respond, and to mitigate issues must be a prime aspect of holistic compassionate care.
Others count family as part of the team to reconcile, as often to ease the pain while enduring the courage and sorrow of a loved one's struggles.
