Sunday, December 30, 2012

“ time can heal or rot ”

Lying in his bed watching television he finally looked comfortable. 

He was suffering from the chronic pains after his infected legs were amputated. His legs were taken off but he was feeling phantom pain; a kind of suffering when you know it is not there but you feel  it there anyway.

He told me one day that time heals all wounds but not his; you need to be connected to your wound to let time heal it. His wounds were taken away with his legs so he can’t rely on time.

To some, time is a measure of moments to test the resilience of those who survive. They are the ones who age with grace; their wrinkles, limps, falls, walkers, canes, wheelchairs and even their prosthesis are considered a time honored ritual as time heals if there is enough of it.

Others struggle with not having enough of time; they blame time management skills or anything else, but the reality lies within them.

Just remember that it is OK to take your time as time has the power to heal or rot; the choice is there.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

" death by overdose "

She did it again. She was brought into the hospital with an overdose of medications. She was resuscitated, revived and brought back to the same life from which she so much wanted to escape.

She was then doing better, and began to work on her emotions and feelings. One day she told me that it was not her drug overdose but her overdose of feelings that was going to kill her.

To some, feelings are a language of intuition; it is something like calling for a higher purpose or doing something apparently impossible to achieve. Those are the ones who are blessed with using their feelings like a guardian angel watching and giving sense to emotions.

Others lead their lives with feelings of this and that without connecting the dots. Their whole lives follow their feelings; it's something as strong as like falling and rising in love or taking away one’s own life. They are the ones whose lives become hostage to languages of emotion and the pay back can be huge.

The secret of a balanced life may be as it is; like to feel it all while knowing the difference between feelings and the drama of life.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

“ hearts of heroes, lives of legends”

She was under treatment for her lung and heart diseases but she amazed me from day one of her hospital admission. She was nice, pleasant, and a mother-like character.

As days being counted from today to tomorrow and yesterdays looked better than passing by day, I saw her condition was getting worse. At one point her diseases became a poor prognosis from medical standards. As I lead the discussion about her care she chose to keep herself comfortable without any struggle. She said, I had a very good life; no regrets. Her treatment continued with limitations of no heroic measures. The rest of her stay in hospital remained calm, comfortable and being herself; nice, pleasant and a mother-like character till the end.

To some, heroes never die as it happen in movies and legends born of extraordinary circumstances.

Others wonder about the hearts of heroes and lives of legends. They know this every day secret; truly any mother fits into what is thought so rare.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

" proving crystal ball wrong "

She was suffering from a tumor of glands that had metastasized; the tumor had spread its tentacles in the near and far organs, and draining life out of her.

Her condition was deteriorating every day and she was dying by all accounts, even in her looks. There were issues of pain, weight loss, infections, insomnia, anxiety, and fear of another day bringing the same misery. I saw her struggles to prove the crystal ball wrong as she told me upon admission to hospital.

Sometimes predictability is also a curse, she told me one day. I was telling her taking things day by day, one day at a time. I was there that day and the very next day and the days after the next days. I wondered with a heavy heart about the struggle of living day by day without a tomorrow of hope.

Sometimes predictability is a curse, I do remember her words.

To some, the reality is sometimes so real that they turn to a crystal ball to seek answers of their choice.
The myth of finding unforeseen answers blind us from what is seen and readily available- the answers.

Others strive to prove crystal ball wrong with their will; they keep the ball rolling until they see the face of hope coming day after day. They are the ones who know the power of awareness:  this time will pass.