Sunday, July 22, 2012

" can't have a walker"

He suffered from a stroke which left him with an unsteady gait. As his life turned around towards better days, he reported to me that he is getting around, even going out to watch games.

One day on his visit I inquired about his mobility and use of a walker and wheel chair. He smiled and said, I don’t use those, I can walk, it’s just my knee. He was not willing to get help or use a walker or wheelchair. Then he walked slowly using his cane, making me afraid of him falling. I visualized him slowing everyone down when he was going to games

To some getting help or using a wheel chair is a sign of weakness. They see themselves in others eyes as frail and old, dependent and dying. It may be a matter of pride and ego..

Others take help to help themselves, By keeping pace with their surroundings, they keep the circle of life revolving by not obstructing fast-paced people around and after them.

Sometimes it is important not to get caught up in ones strength, as no one is watching our frail selves for its strength anyway. I think acceptance of ourselves, our limitations, frees us to live another day with pride of certainty.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

" rare to share"

She was admitted with a non-healing wound on her leg. I saw her lying still in the hospital bed with her eyes closed. She looked peaceful, contrary to her angry looking leg wound.

She informed us that she had a rare condition and she was being cared for by nothing but the best amongst the best of doctors. She showed us her pictures taken with famous people. She understood that she had some sort of celebrity status because of her condition.

To some a rare to share condition gives them a celebrity status. Being part of a registry of rare diseases provides them inner strength to survive against the odds of limited available treatments.

I heard her proud voice as she shared her pictures, but as I listened to her closely she could not hide her sadness of being a medical celebrity, as it does not come with longevity or even pride.

I hoped that someday finding a cure may make her proud of being who she was once upon a time.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

" being show cased in a hospital bed "

As I knocked on his door and entered in his room, I found him all dressed up, I complemented him on his attire. He smiled and said, may I help you.

He was suffering from memory issues, and since the passing away of his wife he was more lost. He was mostly living in the past. I have learned that people fall to their roots when they are in stress, or when experiencing physical or mental loss. Our true core comes out whether being naughty or nice, profane or kind, in words or deeds.

He was a salesman who sold merchandise, that’s what he did. I saw him at his best when it was least expected.

To some, hospital rooms and beds are show cases of patients on display. During our morning rounds we circle around them to discuss their care amongst ourselves and with them. Being a patient is being vulnerable, putting out oneself to be cared for by so many strangers.

Others know that they are the ones who are also on display to show what they have in them; care and share as they walk by seeing patients bed by bed, room by room lying in hospitals all over. They are the ones who make human show casing dignified with their respect of patients, knowing the importance of what will remain and what will be lost over time in the sacred doctor-patient encounters.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

" a fly stuck in a room "

Have you ever seen a fly stuck in a room buzzing around, hitting the walls, doors and windows, and could not find a way out. I was that fly, he declared that day.

He was suffering from a substance addiction.  All resources were available to him; a supportive family and a caring society but he was lost.

One day he told me that some days he want desperately to recover and regain what was lost due to his addiction, but he could not. He was like that fly stuck in a room, wasting all wing power hitting the walls and windows not knowing that slowing down and walking on its legs under the door is the passage to freedom. 

To go across slowly on its leg and gain freedom without fast wings was within reach and a possibility, he stressed his point.

To some it never happens, they get lost as the causality of life’s challenges;  which  blind them to look across and go around.

Others stood up to challenges of life by slowing down, and wisely using power of wings to fly or legs to walk to reach to their destinations including  the most wanted place like a drug free zone.