Saturday, October 23, 2010

"fearful of even a napkin's fall"

She was the youngest daughter of her mom.She had a neurological disease and she was dying young.Everyone in her family was afraid of the unavoidable happening.There was sadness in the air.Her mother was crying with the knowledge that she will out live her daughter.In normal life this was not the way death is dealt with,we all knew.

As she remained hospitalised her family seemed to understand the progression of her disease.Day after day,she was getting weaker.I saw the fear of death was building up to the point that even a napkin falling off the dinning table could send her in jitters.She was afraid of death.

Though our meetings with her family had brought them in terms with their loved ones neuromuscular condition and her final fate,but somehow that understanding made that patient more lonely.She was left out to deal with her own battle.There was a struggle to be fearless in a fearful condition.

I saw that as she was then fearful of even a napkin's fall.I wondered what got to her besides the obvious.There was no unknown in her condition.May be she was grieving alone as her family was getting more accepting of her fate.

To some,family support matters a lot when they grieve together as it make them connected and strong.To others,grieving alone make fear an undesirable companion.

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