Sunday, November 28, 2010

"to wake up with someone beautiful like you"

She had been suffering from shortness of breath,generalized edema and cellulitis amongst her other health problems.Her confussional state of mind was certainly not helping whatever left out of her.Over days of care and treatment she started to improve,mind and body got coordinated but new dimensions of life stressors were wearing her down.

She told me that her husband got so stressed out with her illness that he had not visited her for days.She was unhappy of not being with her husband as "he missed her at home".I did my doc-talk and let her feeling vented by a heart to heart conversation.

The very next day as I went to see her in her hospital room I saw a beautiful bouquet on her table.I praised those flowers,she responded by saying,"it is an expensive one".Then she said,"it is always good to wake up with something beautiful to look at".

I was curious but I never knew,who was the sender of that bouquet.What I saw there was a personal yearning of love,her love for her husband.
"To wake up with someone beautiful like him to look at ",those were the missing words which I so much wanted to hear then but words remain unsaid.

To some flowers are the encrypted face of our heart desires,our love or loss.For others a bouquet is a constant reminder of love,to wake up with someone beautiful like you.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

"it is,it is,it's ok,it's ok"

She had multitude of medical illnesses affecting her body and I had noticed that her mind was also struggling then with words finding.It was extremely difficult to have a reasonable conversation but she could be heard from many rooms away.Her repetition of words were some how limited to those words:
"it is,it is,it's Ok,it's OK".

As time goes on nothing changed physically she showed some signs of improvement,sitting up in chair,self feeding at the tops.I had also noticed a smile on her face too.The most amazing experience was one day when she addressed me with a smile and said,"doctor".Then her words were the same:"it is,it is,it's Ok,it's OK".I remember that her addressing to me as a doctor had my day but I wondered about those words days after days.Those words were out right full of wisdom,perhaps acceptance,surrender,contentment and compassion in the shortest spoken words.

I did never found out what was she thinking when she was repeating those words.But I was able to make her smile by simply asking for one.That was my
ultimate conversation with her then her words echoed in my ear:"it is,it is,it's Ok,it's OK".

Life experiences,at some point in our lives,had made some of us either a philosopher or a hopeless lover.We learn and speak about mind,body and soul.We pride ourselves in becoming true to ourselves.We look for signs in complexities and chaos missing the simple path of enlightenment.

To some,life is a struggle to find out how she said it all so simply and to others,life is "it is,it is,it's Ok,it's OK".

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

"the most content soul of all"

He was a well accomplished doctor who was now a patient. He was living on a ventilator, as life had almost taken away his breath.

The other day he got my attention by tapping his service table. He wanted attention all the times as we knew rather by a surprise. He was a practicing physician when all that happened which change his role from a doctor to a patient in the house of gods.

One day he wrote down that he has so much to offer but his limitations had made him useless. I looked at him, I told him that he was the best in what he used to be. Just keep the memory alive with thoughts of those times when he helped strangers,as we call them our patients. He remained miserable as he got stuck in his thoughts.

To some,being valuable by offerings is the only way they value themselves.To others, being who they really are matters at all,their struggles start and end with them, they own their experiences.They may have the most content souls of all.

I wish he may had valued himself as who he was once upon a time !