"ambulance in the rearview mirror"

As I entered his hospital room, I saw loud crying than laughing, and then praise to the Lord. The priest was there and they were praying. I was asked to join.

He was admitted with a heart attack while he was shopping in a mall. Luckily he was saved and now recovering. 

He told me that he was saved by the power of prayer. Someone prayed as they saw his ambulance in their rearview mirror while pulling over the car to have healing receive him at the hospital by the grace of God.

He told me that day his own son's prayers saved his life as he was the driver of that car who saw his ambulance in the rearview mirror.

To some, pulling over for an ambulance is just an act, as this is a law. 

Others, pull over and send a prayer in motion; those are the ones who make a difference not known to many.

"anyone can be a nuerosurgeon"

He was recovering from his surgery, anal fissure with significant pelvic pain, He described that as a constant burning sensation in his privates, and a feeling of a hot iron rod inside. His descriptions made me shiver in my spine. Then he said, anyone can be a neurosurgeon as his pain was not well treated but the operation was done well as he was told by his surgeon.

I saw pain everywhere. The pain which was oozing from his wound, and the pain which was not measurable on the pain scale of zero-ten.

The current atmosphere of judgments upon people who use narcotics for dependency and those who need it for post-operative care has become a gray area. In the grand scheme of control, everyone suffers. There is room for compassion but it is a slippery slope.

To some becoming a neurosurgeon is the achievement of one's lifetime. No doubt they have hard-earned skills but some gain those at a cost; while perfecting a skill ignoring that a beautiful well-healed wound is still a wound, not a medal and the bearer should be made comfortable at its best. 

Others strive to speak up and look outside the box; tools to heal and control pain. They are the ones who remind us that not anyone can be a neurosurgeon.

"two percent milk"

As I walked into his room, I heard his loud voice accusing the nurse that she wanted to kill him. He continued, the nurse did not care about his health and how serious it was to keep his cholesterol down to keep his heart healthy. He was upset about finding whole milk instead of 2% Milk on his breakfast tray.

I thought he was right so I told him. But I also told him that to be right one doesn't have to be impolite and loud. He agreed and the nurse smiled.

He was admitted with endocarditis affecting a  young heart abused by intravenous recreational drugs. There was a long history of self experimentations, denials, and justifications. There were life trials and legal judgments and the ultimate damage to the earthly body with a weak heart. He wanted to survive, and  I saw his struggle to hold on; he was trying to be alive by doing the right thing. Two percent milk was his water of life at the moment.

To some, a healthy lifestyle is not a choice but the order of the day. Their life may seem dry to those who judge them, those who use and abuse their bodies. To some, extra cheese pizza with a diet soda keeps all stakeholders happy. The journey of a man from a dependency on intravenous drugs to fighting for two percent milk may have its own tale: fear, regret, anger, hope.

"arthritic hands, artistic hands"

She looked very much in pain as she was complaining about her hands. She was in her 40s and suffering from severe arthritis which made her hands deformed. She told me with a half-smile about her limitations of holding objects like rock, paper, and scissors.  To my surprise, she was not complaining of pain in her fingers or hands that was so obvious to me by the look of her red, hot, swollen fingers, and hands.

To my curiosity, I asked her whether the pain in her hands bother her as they looked painful. She replied as she looked at her deformed fingers; yes, it pains me as unable to hold the hands of my children. 

I saw at that moment the pain in her eyes while she was looking at her hands. She had no other regret as not able to hold a brush or canvas, food or drink, even to button up or unzip.

To some, arthritis is the trapped negativity affecting joints as a pent up emotion among people. So, they suggest to resolve and relieve with forgiveness.

Others find those deformed hands as the result of physiology altering autoimmune and, degenerative wear and tear under the grind of the aging calendar of once life.

But, some may see the hand of God working through a mother's hand; the artistic hands that once carve the life of a child with her loving embrace, now a yearning to hold on as long as she can even she can't with her arthritic hands. That day I saw the pain in her hands radiating to her eyes.

That day I saw a mother who was mourning for the loss of her hold; to hold the hands of her children and that was her true pain.

Blessings on the hand of women!

Angels guard its strength and grace,

In the palace, cottage, hovel,

Oh, no matter where the place;

Would that never storms assailed it,

Rainbows ever gently curled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

(What Rules The World: Willam Ross Wallace 1865)

"the invisible umbilical cord"

He had a car accident and he broke bones as a collateral injury as he was describing his injuries to us in the treatment room. He told us that his car was declared totaled by his insurance. He said that was nothing unusual as it happens when cars and people go through these accidents. Some people have these lifetime experiences; some people's life changes and some may lose a life.

He was talkative, agitated like a manic, and his mother was stressed. He was acting out, he may have a concussion besides other differential diagnoses considered.

He was in his twenties and a survivor of a serious car accident. I saw him having the usual issues of his generation like believing in recreational  Marijuana better than alcohol instead of a gateway drug, the power of social media rather than a pleasure addiction Pavlov.

As I saw the interaction between a son and his mother, there was nothing but arguments.  He was not even listening to her even out of respect. I saw his mother's heartbreak showing on her face.  He looked like as he was lost in his stormy life of drugs, accidents, mental illness, a broken family, and the latest car accident.

To some, he was still attached to an invisible umbilical cord as his mother was supporting his existence under all circumstances. Others saw the toll of mental illness of a loved one which consumes their healthy anchors to rot with early aging and wrinkles.

God's Favorite Sport

She came to see me for a medical evaluation as an outpatient visit. Besides her eyesight issues, I found her doing great at being 77 years old. There was no history of diabetes, hypertension, mini-stroke, cancer, or arthritis. No aches or pains. I was pleasantly surprised. To me, she was amazingly well for her age. I told her that people like her will make doctors out of business soon. She smiled.

She told me that her favorite hobby was swimming and she was doing it for a long time, Offcourse now 77 and started at age 6.

She told me that she always felt connected to water throughout her life. She had swum in oceans too. Then she asked me that did I knew what is God's favorite sport, and replied as smoothly as she had put her question as she saw my utter ignorance.  She said God's favorite sport is swimming. I smiled as she appeared to me that she knew that for a fact. 

“It is He who created the heavens and the earth in six periods, and His throne extends over the water, so as to test which of you does best…”

Qur’an 11:7

COVID-19: The Micro Equalizer

As we finally set down to have a history of his present illness and dealing with his condition, I also asked to share his views. He started to talk as being a teacher, and then a short conversation became a full topic lecture.

As COVID -19 has taken over most of the countries of the world, borders are blurred, and walls are insignificant to contain it.  Scarfs and face masks were considered as "not our values" in some places and legally banned within some countries but not only the women but men are also recommended to wear it now.  The poor and rich countries are equally struggling to contain it, and both are short in masks and supplies. The civilized nations are suffering more than uncivilized in some accounts. He continued, people are homebound, businesses are closed, streets and roads are barren. Oil prices are down so much so as no one believed, raising questions about oil companies' profit margins they were making on us for so long.

To some people, the COVID-19 pandemic is a reminder for people as it was reminded before in a Quranic story "The Elephant" which states: "Have you not considered, [O Muhammad, PBUH], how your Lord dealt with the companions of the elephant? Did He not make their plan into misguidance? And He sent against them birds in flocks. Striking them with stones of hard clay And He made them like eaten straw."

Just look at the falls of giants as the global economies nose dive, scientific advances collapses, and powerful governments struggle, and this should remind us that a microscopic virus (like the striking birds with a stone) can shut down world engines and our routines as we were becoming arrogant and out of our realm. Interestingly. the old quotes are now being constantly reminded to us; Desiderius Erasmus's "prevention is better than cure" and Benjamin Franklin's "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." An amazingly humbling feeling as all advances come back to simple basics.

He also mentioned that to him, it is a COVID-curse, and a punishment for us as being indifferent from all illegitimate happenings under our noses as it is as if we have been looking away from killings without due process, invasions and occupations of minds, people and lands. We are accomplices as global citizens in crimes against humanity by remaining silent. We did not stand for those who could not stand for themselves. The greed of power and absolute greed for absolute power of a few and muted response from the majority has brought down upon us the ultimate modern-day experience named COVID-19

Then he reminded me of the Quranic message of hope and encouragement “So, Verily, With Every Difficulty, there is Relief”.

I see hope when I see a race to innovate for the cure to save lives, the rise of self-introspection as people are looking in themselves. I read news of blue skies in cities with pollution mitigation and improvement  in air quality,  people to people contacts, near and distant relatives to check-in via phones or face time, strangers are being helped, tolerance  developing  to respect differences of opinions, people are connecting  dots on  the map  of  human sufferings even in places that are not even their piece of the pie. I believe in goodness among each of us, findings its way to keep us whole as humane-being. If we remember our lessons as being taught now, I have no doubt that God willing, we will rise again.

Scare of a virus

As the corona virus pandemic has spread across the world, it became a testing time for people’s true character.  There is fear, anxiety, insomnia, lock down, restrictions, social distancing, and barren roads and streets. We are living in a surreal "walking dead" episode as some may relate. It looks like that even hope has also been locked down somewhere these days by wearing a mask or a full personal protection equipment while we are bombarded with doom and gloom.

Still some among us are looking at the heart of the humanity which is in full swing to help and care for those who needed the most.  They are availing the best of the blue skies, the availability of time to fix the clutters at homes, family time together, and the life as it was before. The modern life war fare of rush hours, traffic grid locks, road rage, shopping sprees, dog walking, concerts, festivals, gatherings, hand shakes, hugs and kisses are on hold and though rain checks are available but not in site yet.

One may consider as doing an imaginary  journey as if  how people were living during  the times of previous  killer epidemics, and may ponder how those people reacted during there sufferings if there was an internet at the time of the great plague to kill time out of boredom. 

We see people with different perspectives, conspiracy theories, and as many suggestions and treatment recommendations as utube accounts. This  surely can trigger a soul searching path, and to have  a yearning for the truth in times of chaos as one can find an opportunity to excel as well.

To some we find them scared of a viral pandemic and looking for a mask to protect themselves from the sickness while abusing substances, they are the ones who are selective in their choice of poisons to die; others are wearing masks  all along throughout their lives to hide their hypocrisies.

May the mask protect all of us from the virus as it reveals the greatest secret of life that breath counts, especially the clean one.