He was suffering with a diagnosis of failing lungs and his lungs were unable to do the basic function of oxygenation. The disease was progressive and the prognosis was poor.
The dilemma was that he wanted to live and death was not yet imminent. There was struggle, argument, desire, wish but no hope. That was a phase of shadows as I saw his death peaking through the corridors of passing by tomorrows.
One day he asked me, lets postpone death. I looked at him with humility. I said nothing. That was a perfect nothing I knew then but I still remember that moment of nonverbal communication, and how badly I wished I could..
Some follow their course of disease and life as “all diseases run into one, old age.”*
Others who are diagnosed with cancers,they get calendars of death in terms of 3 month survival to years of survival. Then there are those who surprise us, they live beyond their calendars.
I wonder with feelings of random joy in some predictions to level of sheer sadness in other cases. Probably the word sad summarizes it all: struggles,arguments,desires.
*a Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote