Friday, March 2, 2012

" a deer caught in headlights"

The day she was admitted, she became known for her expression of a deer caught in headlights.

She was suffering from a neuromuscular disorder where her body was no longer being controlled by her brain. The heartbreak was her complete awareness of that, and her understanding that she can’t do anything about it.

I saw fear in her eyes, a fear of the days to come as her disease progressed. I always related fear with the unknown, until I saw her with fear of the known.  She was afraid, she was aware, and she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

To some, their eyes are windows to their souls; you can see in their eyes your own destiny.

Others have eyes which remind us of windows with shades; limitations of their bodies with their fears blind them from living in the present moment.

I knew it then as I know it now. That was an observation; no words only expression and remembrance.


MEER said...

Only those who have crossed the path where a deer is caught in the headlights would know the look. Yes , chronic or terminal illness is so sad.How many of us find time to talk or share some moments with people , especially kids with terminal or chronic illness.

caitlin and megan said...

I really liked the moral to this.

All the best to your truths of stories.

Thanks so much for the note.

Jean said...

My mind chews richly on these thoughts. Your fable captures opposites that co-exist at the same time...
shut down...aware...blind

each moment cycles to the opposite and recycles back round and round

Yes, like a Deer caught in headlights.

If I live in each moment I too will experience epiphanies that startle and briefly open the window to my soul where there are no words, as you say, only expressions and remembrance.

richer from your thoughts. thank you.

Jean said...

Your words are so rich that each story needs rereading. Today for me the expression of a 'deer caught in the headlights' is so true in my own mind.

Thank you for the reminder that I have so much to be grateful for.

Even my brainstorms...which are like cat whiskers which are meant to feel and retract.