She was suffering from a tumor of glands that had metastasized; the tumor had spread its tentacles in the near and far organs, and draining life out of her.
Her condition was deteriorating every day and she was dying by all accounts, even in her looks. There were issues of pain, weight loss, infections, insomnia, anxiety, and fear of another day bringing the same misery. I saw her struggles to prove the crystal ball wrong as she told me upon admission to hospital.
Sometimes predictability is also a curse, she told me one day. I was telling her taking things day by day, one day at a time. I was there that day and the very next day and the days after the next days. I wondered with a heavy heart about the struggle of living day by day without a tomorrow of hope.
Sometimes predictability is a curse, I do remember her words.
Sometimes predictability is a curse, I do remember her words.
To some, the reality is sometimes so real that they turn to a crystal ball to seek answers of their choice.
The myth of finding unforeseen answers blind us from what is seen and readily available- the answers.
Others strive to prove crystal ball wrong with their will; they keep the ball rolling until they see the face of hope coming day after day. They are the ones who know the power of awareness: this time will pass.
3 comments:
This is very profound.
But we forget, and I am glad you reminded us :-)
This reminds of my beloved younger sister who passed away recently after going through such experience.
A painful reality.
I have read and reread your story and still my crystal ball gives illusions that are mixed.
The crystal ball is like the faith that sustains us.
Faith in a higher power has many stages that sooth the soul who is near death.
It is a process towards awareness. Some have short resting glimpses others have awareness that there is hope in each minute the Higher Power gives and finally is guided to see the time as you say that time will pass.
How one's faith or crystal ball is believed to guide the process in the end is a series of steps. If we remain on one stair we can climb to higher glory of life realized and have the awareness that time is passing as we continue on the stairs of our thoughts.
Even in the last moments there is growth and movement to the next stair if our faith remains aware of how close we are coming to meeting our higher power.
A Doctor's faith is reflected in the patient's crystal ball. This challenge gives the Doctor strength, his own faith.
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