Suffering from a devastating neurological disease had taken away hope from her. She looked frightened to me. She was diagnosed with ALS and her body did failed her before her mind.A ventilator was keeping her alive.
Everyday during rounds we saw that she had tears and she did cried ,though she denied any pain and anxiety. She was quite adamant that she was not depressed. The very next few days she looked better, more smiles as I told her to keep smiling. That was a doctor’s order and she was folowing to be lively again.
To our surprise as patient was getting comfortable,though her disease was progressing, her daughter got more and more worried about her mother’s care to the extent of interfering medical management.It made us all feel challenged that how come the daughter had not seen that her mother was very comfortable and feeling better.It dawn upon us latter when her daughter revealed that what if she might have similar fate like her mother. It was her fear that was driving her where she was,anticipation of unknown,her own fate.
To some, fear of their own “what if” vulnerability make them do things what they would have not done otherwise.To others, acceptance of unknown make them sleep at night when they put their head on a pillow of faith.