She always appeared short of breath,I wondered what was going on with her.I did diagnostic tests one after another.All those tests were pointing to one diagnosis that she might have progression of her prior diagnosis of tracheomalacia.Now bronchomalacia was also added to insult and she was short of breath all the time.Luckily her oxygen saturations were decent while awake,with activity and during sleep.She had a fighting chance.
Every day during medical rounds,she showed her frustration to keep staying in hospital.Every day I explained to her the reason behind keeping her in hospital.
One day she told me that she would like to be discharged in next two days as she had to attend this party.I did not asked the details but it did not worked out as she remained hospitalised due to her shortness of breath.
Finally after few more days of care and a definitive management plan,I was able to talk about a hospital discharge day.
The day of discharge,she asked me one question,"can I have one cigarette a day".I looked at her with a smile,rather in pity,and said,"No".
Why some people knowingly do what is not good for them.I wonder,isn't this just human.
To some their need to ask the question,like she did,is not a simple curiosity.The real question is to ask ourselves,was it just a simple need to tell what her desire was or it was more so a self defence with a powerful validation from her doctor allowing her to smoke one cigarette a day.
I felt for her but I did not fall for her !