He was disabled from his illness for many years. Now on a ventilator with failing kidneys."I'm going to die, you know", he stated to me in greeting. I wondered was that the declaration or just a reminder."Yes,we all gonna die at some point in time",I replied.
The patient had been quite successful in his life, providing well for himself and his family. He vented his sadness and frustration of slowly losing his capacities over the years, and now being in a failing body of which he had no control. I told him,I thought he was brave to consider things in this way He told me that he was not brave, he was scared, but he was doing it for his wife. "I can't stand to see the pain in her eyes anymore", he explained.
His eyes sparkled as he talked about his "wonderful lady" and "the love of his life", noting how he could no longer be there for her in any substantial way. As I put the phone to his ear. "The eagle has landed", he said to his wife, communicating to her that he had arrived at what would be his final destination here on earth.
How someone can come to such a difficult decision out of love that most of us could not even bring ourselves to think is simply amazing.
I wonder how one can be fearful and brave at the same time.Perhaps being in love makes it easy.